Why I’ll Never Get a Brazilian Bikini Wax

In Brazil, this counts as a one-pieceI love Brazil.  On my vacation there years ago, I saw beautiful countryside, sophisticated cities, and rockin’ nightlife. I love Brazilians.  They are warm and loving.  They are awesome plastic surgeons, and they are singlehandedly reviving the NY Real Estate market. Some of my best friends are Brazilian. No, really. Bruno and Elizabeth.  I love them.

In fact, I like Brazil so much, I’m hoping that, lexicographically speaking, “Brazilian” bikini wax is kind of like “French” Fries. No one really knows why it’s called Brazilian. But I’m guessing it’s more like French Kissing. Anyone who spent her Junior year abroad in Paris knows where that came from.  And it ain’t lexicography. Trust me on that.

What I don’t love, is the Brazilian Bikini Wax.

Remember that episode of Sex and the City where the girls all go to LA and Carrie gets waxed?  She’s surprised by what the waxer leaves her: nada.  nothing. zip.

It’s called a Brazillian, she tells Samantha and Miranda. Out here in LA, everybody’s doing it.

Well, here in NY everybody is, too.  And the other day, not on purpose, I came close.  First of all, ouch. And second of all, I don’t think so. Why am I so opposed? Here goes:

1. I am not a porn star. We all know about the skewed body image girls get when they are surrounded by images of impossibly thin models and ridiculously beautiful movie stars.  It’s bad enough that that’s the standard of beauty we’re supposed to live up to.

Now I’m supposed to aspire to look like a porn star, too?  Because that’s where this lack of pubic hair look comes from. Porn stars have been trimming and shaping “down there” forever.  But until now, “regular” women weren’t.  Now they are.   Really?  Is this what it’s come to?  We have to look like porn stars to be desirable? Yuck.

2. I am not pre-pubescent.  I find it hard to imagine that any mother of a girl anywhere near puberty would wax off all of her own pubic hair.  Because it’s saying that childlike genitals are sexually appealing. Maybe when you don’t have kids, or don’t have a girl, or don’t have a girl nearing that age, you don’t see it that way – but I do have a girl approaching that age.  And that men find that attractive? That has a name: pedophilia. What a sad, shocking, and upsetting thought.

3. It sends a bad message to young girls. What does it say to a child who is already uncomfortable about her changing body that her mother does everything in her power not to have hair exactly where she, the child, is getting it? Thatit’s so bad to have hair “down there” that her mother pays someone to rip the pubic hair off her body?

I’ll tell you what it says: your changing body is horrible.  Your changing body is bad.

Is that really the message we want to send?

There was an uproar recently over an article about Virgin Waxing: the practice of taking young girls to get their bikini lines waxed the moment hair appears.  Ostensibly, it is to prevent overgrowth in the future.  But a lot of women were outraged.  “It tells girls their changing bodies are bad and ugly” they claimed.

Well, where’s the outrage over grown women being sent the same message?  And then sending that same negative message themselves every time they lie on a table, remove their skivvies, spread their legs, and have some stranger slather them with hot wax and rip out every last one of their public hairs by the root?

Look, I’m all for shave and a haircut.  I’m all for a neatly trimmed look.  I don’t want  – to go back to a Sex and the City term – to have “a situation” down there.

But I also don’t want to look like a porn star or like a child.  And I don’t want my daughter to look like that either.  Who would?

Comments

  1. says

    Interesting article. I remember back when as a kid, my friends and I would come across a few “interesting” magazines and “movies”.. seeing a “full bush” didn’t really faze me at all, it didn’t take away from the woman’s beauty, but I have noticed the trend in today’s Adult industry with women preferring to get a wax.

    The few times I’ve seen a grown woman who got that area fully waxed, not even the thought of a kid crossed my mind. To call it “pedophilia” is a little out of turn if you ask me, coz pedophiles are just that; they prey on young kids, are obsessed by young kids.. and the sort…

    I don’t see anything wrong with getting a full wax, or even “trimming the hedges”, coz I rarely see people who just their lawn get out of control. Also for the same reasons a woman chooses to get her hair done every now and then, to look good.

    I’ve “gone down” a time or two, and I’ll be honest, feeling that hair as I went about my business wasn’t exactly appealing.

    Some folks like a “full bush” others not as much, to each their own. As for me, I’m getting my freak on either way.

    • says

      I don’t really think men who enjoy a hair free entryway are pedophiles. Just that whole idea of it is “pedophilish.” As for trimming – of course I’m fine with that. Neatness counts. But nothing? Not for me.

  2. says

    I have boys so I am not really naked around them anymore….so, I cannot truthfully speak to how my grooming – excessive or lacking (will keep my personal pref to myself) – affects my children.

    I will say that ‘grooming’ whether it be small patches or nada has been around for a long long time and probably like many things, now we blame the porn industry when it reality it is just our ability to get info and our oversharing that make it seem more prevalent now.

    do you think?

    • says

      small patches are one thing. It’s the complete removal of all signs that your genitals have been through puberty that I have a problem with. And if porn stars have always been stripping it all off, fine for them. I liked it better when access to information didn’t somehow mean that I’m supposed to do it too.

      • says

        I agree – access to porn could be less – or a lot.
        What I meant to say – is I think many women – not just porn stars – have been stripping it off for a long time .. it is now that we share (or overshare)

        all this being said – I should keep my big mouth shut b/c I don’t ave a daughter and I am certainly sure that my opinion may be much different if I were in that position!

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