A Long Ago Mothers Day

As I write this, Mothers’  Day (Mothers? Mother’s? I never know) is, thankfully, almost over. I hate Mothers’ Day.

It’s not that I don’t think mothers matter or  that I don’t like being given breakfast in bed, or beautiful gifts (Missoni from Loehmann’s!), or handmade cards that really mean something.  I like all of that. It’s not that I don’t appreciate my own mother. Hey, my mother went back to grad school in her early 50′s, got a Masters in Fine Arts, and has since written four books, two libretti, and won two major literary prizes…one of them a Guggenheim. And she still rocks a creative, hip look. I appreciate her plenty.

My daughter pointed out that I shouldn’t mind Mothers Day – after all, she said, it doesn’t mean you’re getting older.  True. And yet I still hate Mothers’ Day. Let me count the ways:

1. When your child whines on a normal day, it’s annoying.  When she whines on Mothers’ Day, it’s a personal affront.

2. This year, people spent $18.6 billion on Mother’s Day. That’s kind of horrifying.  I mean, it’s great for the florists, and bakers and card shops.  Bully for them. But $18.6 billion? That’s more than the gross national product of lots of small (and not so small) countries.  That money could change public education as we know it. Feed the hungry. Clothe people. Provide health care for thousands upon thousands.  Instead it was spent on greeting cards? Ugh.

3. The dog does not know it’s Mothers’ Day.  Today, he had a particularly barky day.  Which was annoying. It’s supposed to be my special day. He is not supposed to bark all day at nothing.

4. There is too much emphasis on EATING on Mother’s Day.  I have spent the last few weeks drinking Isogenix shakes in a not all that successful effort to lose some weight.  This holiday is all about eating.  Breakfast in bed.  Lunch with my Mother In Law.  Dinner with my mother.  Three weeks of shake-drinking, eradicated by one bogus holiday.

5. I miss my friend.  This Fall, I lost a close friend to Ovarian cancer.  And all I can do is think about her husband and son today.  How this holiday, dreamed up more than 100 years ago to help mothers of sons on either side of the Civil War come together, has become a giant merchandising machine. A machine that makes the holiday inescapable, and must have made their day hell.

It’s selfish, I know, to hate a holiday that celebrates all Moms just because my friend’s son will now face all of his Mothers’ Days alone.  But if it’s still so raw for me that I was fighting back tears much of the day…I cannot imagine how it made  my friend’s husband (who is also my good friend) and son feel.  It’s hard to love a day that makes you feel like that.

6. Lastly, I hate Mothers Day because I hate any holiday where if you aren’t incredibly happy, incredibly pampered, perfectly praised by the people you love -  you feel you’ve failed.  I don’t feel all that festive today (see above).  My daughter whined.  My son complained.  Even the dog barked. So now I feel like I’ve failed at Mothers’ Day.  Failed.  At a holiday.

Pathetic.

Ah well.  At least I have a whole year until it comes again.

I was lucky enough to have AT&T sponsor me for SheStreams, the fabulous Social Media beyond the blog conference held by Maria Bailey of BSM Media at the Doubletree Hotel in Ft Lauderdale, FL.  I have not been to Ft Lauderdale in nearly 20 years — since my grandma died.  And, man, has it changed!(There’s even a water taxi now – take a look!)

First, the conference: first of all, it was weird to be there without my other half.  Oh, my husband was there – and my kids – I mean with Rebecca Levey, my KidzVuz co-founder. Second of all, I have known Maria Bailey for several years, professionally, and I never knew before this that she led a secret life as a (mildly raunchy) stand up comedian.  I mean, the woman stood up in a room full of more than 250 women (and a few men) and cracked some penis jokes!  Who knew?

Seriously, Maria gave a keynote that really was a keynote not just a commercial for a brand or person, like so many of them are.  Her keynote was warm, funny, dotted with personal yet relevant anecdotes, broad ranging in its ideas, relatable, and most of all inspiring.  She really knocked it out of the park.

Not that I was all that surprised.  I mean, last year, she pulled the first SheStreams together in no time, and created a different interesting, informative two days of sessions unlike any I’d seen at other conferences.

I like that SheStreams is about the profession of blogging.  Not that personal blogging isn’t wonderful, but professional blogging hasn’t had its own conference.  And SheStreams focuses on going beyond the blog – with sessions on legal issues (a terrific @CharChronicles), podcasting (yay @SelfishMom), making sponsored videos (from the lovely @MyGoMom), and even one on monetizing your Twitter presence from none other than the inventor of the Twitter Party, Amy Lupold Bair – @ResourcefulMom.

The conference was small enough that I got real, hands on time with the HP eprinter the HP folks were showing off.  I love mine.  I love that I can print something by emailing it to myself at my HP eprint address, but I didn’t really understand what all of the apps for the printer could do until SheStreams: now, I get a week’s worth of  Bon Appetit recipes printed out automatically every week.  I love that.

AT&T was showing off the new and truly gorgeous Nokia 900 .  I know everybody loves the iPhone — but I’m a Windows Phone kind of gal, and I have a feeling that phones like this one are finally going to get everyone else on board.  I mean, not to sound uber-nerdy – but the OS rocks. (You can read about Why I love my Windows Phone here.)

Now on to the place itself: Ft Lauderdale.  In my mind, it’s where old Jews go when their children are sick of them and their grandchildren no longer think they’re the greatest people on Earth.  Oh, and where they can drive really, really, slowly in the left lane and no one will care.

Maybe those Old Jewish Grandparents are still there (I didn’t check out Rascals and Pumpernicks) but where I was, near Los Olas, there were chic hotels and rockin’ nightlife, and the Hotel W where I had what was quite possibly the best steak I’ve ever eaten. (pricey – but oh so worth it)

So maybe I’ll need to give Ft Lauderdale another shot – between the great surfing lessons the kids took, and the fabulous meal, and the great shopping, the miles of waterway, and the Atlantic, it’s pretty appealing.

So , in addition to my annual trek to Long Boat Key, I may have to add Ft. Lauderdale.

Now, I find out that Forbes magazine, one of the world’s leading sources of business news and financial information, has named St. Augustine, Florida as one of the ten prettiest towns in America. Experts at National Geographic, the Travel Channel and Fodor’s made the list, so you know these people know what they’re talking about. They love the town’s history, and  walkability.  They call it charming and fun.

Bummer.  Looks like I’ll be criss-crossing Florida again!

Other than my AT&T conference sponsorship, this post was completely uncompensated.

I think I might get these in blue.

Come on — pin it.  You know you want to.

Chica from Sprout will be there too!

Spring is just around the corner…so why is it suddenly so wintry feeling out there? Need a tropical fix?  Head to the Philadelphia Flower Show – (starting Sunday and running through March 11) because this year, “the nation’s Flower Show” will transport you to “Hawaii: Islands of Aloha” This is so much more than a flower show: it’s part exhibition, part learning and lectures, part kids fantasy, and part competition.  And since it is part competition, the wow factor will be impressive.  Not only that, but this year, the organizers have decided to provide a tropical experience that blends digital technology with nature’s beauty  – to spectacular effect.

Like this: a high-definition video projection, will make it feel like you’re entering the show by walking under a crashing wave.  Unless you happen to enter when that same digital projection makes it seems like you’re going through a wall of living orchids. Keep going into a canopy of palms and ferns, and you’ll end up at a 35-foot waterfall. With its own goddess.  And every hour, authentic Hawaiian hula dancers will perform – giving the show an even more “you are there” feeling.

This sounds kid friendly enough to me, but there’s a whole program just for kids, too, with visits by The Lorax (!), hands-on planting, flower arranging, Hawaii-inspired arts and crafts, and earth-loving activities in the all-new Einstein Healthcare Network Family Lounge powered by Sprout.  If you’re planning on making the trip with your kids, you might want to look into getting a Family Fun Pak which includes tickets for two adults and two children and a one-year membership with The Philadelphia Horticulture Society, all for $70. Sunday March 11th is family day with even more extras – like the chance to meet some of their favorite TV characters from Sprout TV and Universal Studios.

What I love about it is how they’ve fused the technology that grabs kids, with the natural wonder that teaches, engages, and enriches them.

That, and the fact that this is likely as close to going to Hawaii as I will ever get!

The Philadelphia Flower Show is open Sunday, March 4-11 at the Philadelphia Convention Center. (so it’s HUGE!) .  Advance tickets are available at www.TheFlowerShow.com

At Skinit.com, you can get all sorts of different skins for your various electronic devices that feature licensed images from the film; for all kinds of Hunger Games clothing and accessories head on over to Cafe Press.

The cool thing about the CafePress store is that it will be selling both officially licensed film merchandise and fan created designs.

The official merchandise will be a sampling of all licensed products for the film, with a concentration on apparel, accessories, and novelty items.  But here’s the cool part: THE HUNGER GAMES fan merchandise portal will allow fans to design their own t-shirts, canvas bags, water bottles, and more than 250 other products. There are even mini shops that focus on the film’s major characters and Districts.

Also fun for tweens (and I’m sure plenty of somewhat creepy enthusiastic grown up fans),is that they will also have a chance to create a free District ID Card* through a new exclusive Hunger Games Facebook application that will be available within the CafePress shop.  Any fan that registers for an ID card through the app can claim a physical ID card that shows among other things their district and job assignment. Existing “citizens of Panem” can also claim their free The Hunger Games ID card* through the app.

How cool is that?

Skinit.com has six different designs to choose from. There’s an intense closeup of Katniss (played by Jennifer Lawrence), a smouldering profile of Liam Hemsworth as Gale, and a can’t-get-used-to-him-as-a-blond shot of Josh Hutcherson as Peeta.  Plus logos, a Mockingjay and another Jennifer Lawrence beauty shot.  There are skins for just about every devices you can name:  phones, MP3 Players, MP3 speakers and speaker docks, DS,   laptops, desktop computers, Bluetooth headsets, DVD players, printers, cameras, even medical devices)  You can even get giant wall stickers to decorate (impermanently) your obsessed tween’s room.

For a simpler Hunger Games pre-movie fix, download the new Taylor Swift song, Safe and Sound, from the soundtrack,  You can get it on itunes.

I think that if you get your kid something from one of these places, “the odds will be ever in your favor” that they’ll like it.  And yes – that’s a reference to the books.  I read them all, too!

Only some of you will “get” this.  But for those that do…it was a surreal moment when this message came through:

On a more serious note – I actually think it’s kind of a good reminder that Social Media is terrific, and I love it, and I’ve written about how much I love it more than once.  But it’s still all run with a computer program.  Sp no matter what Facebook thinks.  No matter what info it sells to its clients – messages like this one prove that these services don’t really know us.

I find that oddly reassuring.

But Twitter - Beccasara and I are together CONSTANTLY.  We talk constantly when we are not together.  We DM  each other all day long.  We have KidzVuz together, and The Blogging Angels, and we’re actual friends. So seriously, Twitter, get with the times!

True, the article only talked about twelve year old girls getting driven into Manhattan from Greenwich, Connecticut, to have make-up lessons on the Upper East Side – not 7 or 8 year olds. But twelve is young enough.  Young enough for what, you ask?  Young enough that it’s just plain awful.

I get that tween girls are growing up faster than they were when I was that age.  I mean, when I was that age, the word Tween didn’t even exist.  Now, it doesn’t even set off the spell-check. (Which also didn’t exist when I was that age, just so you know.)  But I also know that twelve year old girls are just as insecure as ever.  That they are figuring out who they are. And as their bodies change – who they will be.

Do we really want them to be so singularly focused on their looks?

What does it say to a twelve year old girl that having great hair and makeup for a Bat Mitzvah party is worth two hours in the car (one there, one back), hundreds of dollars in fees, and the physical pain of an eyebrow wax? What does it mean to a twelve year old girl when a staff of grown women fawn over and serve her for the sake of her looks?

It says that no matter the cost, the time, the classist nature of entitlement it all implies – looks are the most important thing.  Beauty above all else.  And worse, that even at twelve, their own natural beauty isn’t enough. They need professional make up artists and facialists.

I don’t blame the girls.  I don’t even blame the pop culture machine that presents them with impossibly beautiful and perfect role models who are all primped and primed ad nauseum.  I blame the parents.  I blame the mother in this NY Times story who thinks it’s so perfectly OK to treat a twelve-year-old like a 20 year-old that she put her picture, and her first and last name in The New York Times!  I blame the mother, who said that if her daughter was going to put on make up, she could at least learn how.

How about this?  Tell your twelve year old daughter she doesn’t need make up at all because she’s beautiful the way she is.

Because she is.  And because to be willing to imply otherwise by spending exorbitant time and money artificially altering that natural beauty.  Well, you might as well sign her up for a lifetime of feeling insecure.  A lifetime of body image issues.  And a whole world of misery.

When they were this age, no tech was no problem!

Family vacations are supposed to be all about togetherness.  So does that mean that no one can be on their phone or handheld game, or ipad, or computer the entire time?

Yikes. I mean, can you get the DTs from electronic withdrawal syndrome?

Kim Orlando gave that a shot on her recent family vacation to Aruba (the no tech – not the DTs)…and I commend her for it.  But the truth is, I’m not really willing to give up tech entirely while I’m on a trip – so I can’t really expect my kids to be. What we’ve done – without hard and fast rules, but with some success, is make the rule that tech is only for checking in with your email in the morning, and checking out a bit at the end of a long day. I do not check my phone all the time while we are away.  My kids do not carry around their various electronic accessories.  But for a plane ride, let’s face it, nothing beats a bit of DS or a movie on your iPad.

I think we’ve struck up a compromise. Works for us.  And maybe it will work for you — (and you have to read this next line in a game-show announcer voice) on your vacation to beautiful Aruba!!!! Yes Traveling Mom (where I am a contributor) is giving away a fabulous trip for a family of four to Aruba.  (including air fare!)

It’s easy to enter.  All you have to do is watch the video below about how Traveling Mom founder Kim Orlando dealt with electronics on vacation,  and her tech-deprived kids (and husband) on her trip to Aruba, and answer the question of the day. The details about the contest are all here.  Where you can learn about more ways/chances to win.

The Traveling Mom crew is also hosting a Twitter Party all about traveling with tech.  And I’m gonna be there.   January 23, 9-10 pm eastern. Wanna come?  If you’ve never been to a Twitter Party, it’s easy.  Just click here and find out how to RSVP. Still not sure? Well, just so you know, TMOM always give out awesome prizes!

But for now, check out Kim’s video.  Once you’ve watched that, you’re REALLY gonna want to win the trip!