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Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

Santa Isn’t Jewish

Posted in Family, Humor, Kids, Laughs, Parenting, tagged , on December 21, 2009 | Leave a Comment »

Happy Everything to Everyone.. Here’s my annual Christmas for Jews post!  Enjoy! Santa Claus isn’t Jewish. That was my daughter the other day, explaining to her friend why, though she believes in Santa, he isn’t coming to our house this, or any other, year. Well, can’t say she’s wrong, can I? I was relieved to [...]

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Sleepaway Summer: I’m shipping off the kids..and I’m already homesick.

Posted in Family, Kids, Parenting, tagged , , on December 7, 2009 | Leave a Comment »

I loved my sleepaway camp.  Never mind that my last summer there one of my bunkmates got Herpes and both of my counselors got knocked up — by the same guy.  I had fun. I made friends, I sang, took dance classes, tried to water ski and ending up losing my viriginity to a lake [...]

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The End of Vacation: Ahhh!

Posted in Family, Humor, Kids, tagged , on September 19, 2009 | Leave a Comment »

Sure vacation is over, but it isn’t all bad.  After all, the kids are back in school, I am back at the gym, and Zabars is right around the corner. Read what else is OK about being back from vacation by clicking over to my weekly post on TravelingMom.com.

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Mean Mommy Confessions

Posted in Family, Humor, Kids, Laughs, Parenting, tagged , , , , on August 26, 2009 | 2 Comments »

The whining, the nagging, the rudeness, the backtalk.  Ah, yes.  The joys of parenting. I’m sure that whoever you are, your kids are PERFECT.  But it can’t be just me.  Can it? Please tell me it’s not just me.  That I am not the only mother being driven crazy by her own kids. Mama, mama, [...]

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NYC Moms Blog Post: My Daughter Thinks She's Fat and It's all my Fault

Posted in Aging, Beauty, Family, Kids, Neurosis, Parenting, Uncategorized, Weight, tagged , , , on June 4, 2009 | Leave a Comment »

Swimsuit season is upon us.  And with it the onslaught of diet ads on tv, magazines with pics of celebs caught having actual cellulite, and me, bemoaning my post-partum, post-forty, past passing for anything but middle-aged body. Though I am, if I am completely, intellectually honest, neither truly fat, or particularly unattractive, I have made [...]

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Can I Have Mothers Day Off?

Posted in Family, Humor, Kids, Laughs, Parenting, Rants, tagged , , on May 10, 2009 | 2 Comments »

Here’s a typical day for me: Wake up. Check mirror. Cringe. But realize there’s no time to shower. I’ve got to get the kids to school no later than 8:25. Since this is NYC, I do not have the option to get in my car in my pajamas, drop off my kids, and drive home [...]

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My 8 Year Old Economist

Posted in Family, Kids, tagged , , on March 11, 2009 | Leave a Comment »

The other night, my eight year old daughter couldn’t sleep. “I’m worried,” she said. “What are you worried about?” I asked. “I’m worried about the economy.” You know things have gotten bad when your eight year old is losing sleep over the economy. “Don’t worry, sweetie,” I said. “Daddy’s job is fine. And Mommy is [...]

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Valentine Schmalentine

Posted in Family, Humor, Kids, Laughs, Marriage, Parenting on February 12, 2009 | Leave a Comment »

My High School sold carnations on Valentines Day to raise money.  Girls like Cynthia Gerardi (the most beautiful girl in 10th grade) and Courtney Funston (the blondest and cheerleader-est) got ten, twenty, I don’t know, eighty-seven flowers each, either from boys hoping to capture their hearts, or girls hoping to ride their wave of popularity. [...]

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Blah Blah Blah: Why won't my kids Listen?

Posted in Family, Humor, Kids, Laughs, Parenting, Rants, Uncategorized, tagged on January 24, 2009 | 4 Comments »

Years ago, my sister got my father a t-shirt that read: I’m not deaf, I’m just ignoring you. I think my 8 year old son has somehow, through the miracle of genetic osmosis, absorbed that message. Here is a typical exchange: Me: Time to get off the computer. He: I am getting off. (continues exactly [...]

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The Joy of Getting

Posted in Family, Kids, Shopping on December 25, 2008 | Leave a Comment »

This year Hannukah and Christmas coincided.  This might not be big news to gentiles, but to Jews, it is a fortuitous lunar/solar alignment that makes us want to spin around singing “The Age of Aquarius.”  Because when the two holidays combine, that means we have something to do on Christmas Eve, when everyone else is [...]

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