Not me.

We have subscriptions to several different theatres:  The Vineyard Theatre, The Signature Theatre, The Transport Group, and The New Victory. Plus we’re members of The Metropolitan Museum, The Museum of Natural History, The Whitney, and the Museum of Modern Art. Is it expensive? You bet. But as a subscriber you’re supporting the theatre you subscribe to, and you get  MUCH cheaper tickets usually before they go on sale to the general public. We also get a TON of “buy discounted tickets” post cards in the mail, and I sometimes do. And as for the museums?  I want to support the arts in NYC. Think about how much your cable bill is every month, and all that supports is the business of television.  Not that there isn’t good TV out there.  But live theater, seeing art in the flesh (in the paint) – nothing beats it.

See?  We really do use the cultural resources this city has to offer.

Admittedly, sometimes it doesn’t go so well.   (see my snarky Disney on Broadway bashing post from last week) But I have a rule: if it stinks, I leave. No need to pay twice.  I mean, I already paid for the tickets, why should I also pay with my time and suffering?  And hey, isn’t that what intermissions are for?

But this past week, the Theatre Gods  were with me, and I saw three (!) truly wonderful things.  (Plus, I saw the no-longer playing Interviewing the Audience two weeks ago – you can read about it here.) So  I thought I’d write about the FABULOUS things I’ve seen this week.

1. The Book of Mormon

This show is AWESOME.  The FUNNIEST thing you will see for a decade!  It is also not for the easily offended.  If poking fun at God (with serious vulgarities) offends you – don’t go to this show. If, however, the idea of the word of God being handed down by Hobbits appeals to you – by all means, get thee to the theatre. The musical, by South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker, tells the story of two Mormon Missionaries sent to Africa. It’s about Mormonism – but only  because they had to choose one religion to use to go after organized religion in general.  I don’t want to tell you much – the jokes are so fresh and surprising (except for the one where the main character equates– where else: Disney Land? – to heaven on earth.) that I don’t want to give any of them away.  Suffice it to say: the sets are clever, the choreography complex and interesting, the musical hummable and bright, the performers talented and the book and lyrics totally hysterical. The funniest show I have EVER seen. Plus, it has a point of view, and something to say. I may be starting to believe in miracles…or at least in Musical Theatre again.

2. Hello Again!

Maybe not at the other end of the spectrum…but pretty far from The Book of Mormon’s big-bold production and style, is this intimate, innovative production of Michael John La Chiusa’s Hello Again from The Transport Group.  A little background: The Transport Group is a theatre without a home.  So every production moves to a different space, which is incorporated into the staging.  Last year, they did a revival of The Boys in the Band, a play that takes place at a party in a downtown NY apartment.  So the production was in…you guess it – a downtown NY apartment, where audience members not only ringed the room, but say inside of the apartment itself, in effect joining the party. Fabulous.

This production also used a loft space downtown, and turned it into a dinner party or cabaret.  Round tables  – a bar at one end.  Plus, the action of the play takes place, in large part, on top of the tables. You are IN the scenes.

And what’s the action?  Well, lots and lots of sex.  Not actual sex, mind you.  But actual bare butts on actors simulating sex.  Aside from the sex there is a complex and wonderful score and perhaps the most uniformly and incredibly talented ensemble cast ever “ensembled.”

True, there are times when you can’t see everything that’s going on. But if they were trying to immerse you in the experience…well done.

3. Skelig

This was at The New Victory, and was, supposedly, for kids.  But as often happens with these productions, I liked it more than the kids.  Based on the YA novel, Skelig tells the story of a young boy who finds a creature – is it a man, an angel, a figment of his imagination? – in the garage of his new home. The production was dark and beautiful, the set interesting enough to look at that even though it stays the same throughout the performance you don’t get tired of it, and again – the performances quite good.

Usually, “kids show” are pandering and stupid, with horrible production values.  So I don’t want that.  But this one was, perhaps, a little too dark and deep for kids.  At least my kids.  They’re not so ready for exploring the themes of death, and reality. Maybe European kids are more sophisticated!  Well, of course they are…they’re European!!

There you have it: three great shows in one week.  Not bad.  Not bad at all.

Note: Tickets for The Book of Mormon (still in previews) and Hello Again (limited run) are available.  But Skelig has left the building!

In the living room, party guru and TV host David Tutera (from My Fair Wedding) was giving party tips while Wii Party played on the screen behind him.  And all I could think was – really?  David Tutera, tastemaker, is advocating playing video games at a grown up party?  Yeah, right.  So I asked him – “Do you really think it’s possible to have a party still feel social when there are video games around?”

Of course I asked the question fully aware that the TV star wasn’t there just for the fun of it — or even just to meet fabulous bloggers like me.  He was being paid.  But still – his answer surprised me.

I’ll paraphrase:

“Parties should always be changing.” He said.  Like the food: only serve two hors d’oevres at a time and vary them throughout the evening.  It’s the same with video games.  A whole party of video games wouldn’t be my style.  But as an element of a party, it’s an ice-breaker, a change of pace, and a whole lot of fun.”

Well. That didn’t sound like “I’m being paid so I’ll say whatever they want me to” speak. Well, maybe a little.  But still, it made sense.  SO, having been sent a copy of Wii Party for review (that’s the full disclosure part), and having told the PR people who sent it to me that I would have a Wii party and write about, and having put it off forEVER, I finally decided to have the party, play the game, and see what happened.

Mind you, this was a kid party.  Ten kids who didn’t know each other all that well, gathered in my apartment to play video games and tell me what they thought of them.  And here’s what they said:

Shriek.

Giggle.

Hysterical laughter.

Shout.

Team cheer.

General hilarity.

By the time the Pizza arrived (and no, PR people, I did not use the Pizza gift card you got me.  This is NY.  We don’t do Dominos) the kids who didn’t know each other were friends.  So it turns out David Tuterra was right – it is an ice breaker.  And contrary to my fears about video games, Wii Party isn’t a stagnant staring at the screen, solitary experience.  It’s active and loud, and funny, and very, very social.  And there are about a gazillion  (OK – 13 ) different games in Wii Party and more than a bazillion (OK, 80) mini-games.  So there’s a lot of variety.  Most important, all of the games are appropriate for any age. No shoot ‘em ups or gore here.

My kids love the mini games Hide and Peek, where one player literally hides a Mii somewhere on the screen while the other players walk out of the room, then return to look for themselves within a certain time.  Wii Party Bingo uses Mii’s instead of letters and numbers, and there are matching games, stop the baby from crying games, puzzles and more.  Most of the games are intended for at least two – and often four players, though there is some individual game play as well. And in all of the games you play as your Mii…your digital self.

My personal favorite is a game where the remotes are assigned animal noises, then are hidden in the room, and you’ve got to find them before the clock runs out. There’s something decidedly un-tech about it.  It feels like an old fashioned party game.  And there’s a reason those old fashioned games have lasted: they’re fun.

Bottom line: Wii Party is a fun, family game.  It isn’t going to rock your world, but it is going to make your holiday party a whole lot of fun.

Wii Party is rated E for everyone by the ESRB.

And the show was terribly, painfully, BAD.

Not the entire show: Tony Goldwyn, in a supporting role, set the standard for acting in a Broadway musical, proving that even in a musical as hokey as this one, a real actor can embody a part to an amazingly effective degree.  Molly Shannon was clearly having the time of her life  – and giving the audience a great time too – playing a drunken floozy.

And yet, the show, was patently awful. How is that possible? Let me count the ways.

1. Bad Music. Ever heard of the song “Grapes of Roth?”  how about “Wanting Things?” or that big show stopper (and catchily named) “She likes Basketball?” I didn’t think so. Other than the so-cheesed-up-by-it’s-association-with-Muzak song “I’ll Never Fall in Love Again,”  and the so out of place it seems to have been dropped in from another show “I say a Little Prayer for You,” you’ve never heard of any of these songs.  Know why? They are BAD. Unhummable.  And not in a complex Stephen Sondheim kind of way.  Just boring, and talky, and sometimes oddly tuneless. Bad.

2. Worse Lyrics: “People who I meet seem to think I am strong. They don’t see inside of me so they don’t know I’m weak and often wrong.”  Those aren’t lyrics.  Those are lines from a Soap Opera character about to kiss his brother’s, wife’s sister even though he know she loves another.

Or how about “I seem to see you differently. Changing as I’m being treated kindly or meanly.”  Try singing that ten times fast.

3. Weird Directorial Choices:  Now, I don’t know for sure that these were directorial choices, or were written into the script or the (mostly) bad music.  But why on earth, in a solo number, is there suddenly a vocal chorus of invisible women doing back-up?  Weird

And while Tony Goldwyn was truly terrific as a 1950′s sexist cad, he seemed to be in a different show.  He wasn’t “performing,” as most of the other people on stage were – he was acting. The real deal. It was a great performance, but kind of out of place with the “hey, we’re in a show”  mugging that most of the other supporting characters were doing. (Which, in a period musical isn’t an insult) Weird again.

I felt bad for Sean Hayes, Kristen Chenoweth, and Tony Goldwyn.  They were doing a great job.  They were entertaining.  But  – hello – there’s a reason the show hasn’t been revived in decades. And good as you are, you aren’t good enough to make this bad show a good one. Even the great Neil Simon couldn’t write a book good enough to save the show from it’s true awfulness.

So go see Promises, Promises  if you’re a huge Sean Hayes fan.  Because he won’t disappoint.  Go if you love Kristen Chenoweth no matter what.  But know you’re gonna need that “no matter what” mentality.

I promise you that.

Depends on what the fight was.

If they were vying on a brawn-only basis, Batman. Brains? Nancy Drew.

But if you asked my ten year old twins who would win – then you’d have a real battle.  Because when it comes to electronic games, boys see things one way, and girls, another.

See, my son LOVES the new Batman game  for Wii Batman: The Brave and the Bold the Videogame (full disclosure – I received a free review copy, he played it.)  I was impressed with how it looks less like a game and more like the actual cartoon…uh, excuse me, animated series. (seriously – when did it become a bad thing for kids to like cartoons?) My son likes the story, he loves the graphics, he thinks it’s easier to learn than some of the other, more complicated games I’ve gotten for review.

My daughter.  Not so much.  It’s not that she doesn’t like it, it’s just that she’d rather play her new PC-based game, recently released for Nancy Drew’s 80th (!) anniversary (and yet she still looks so young! how does she do it?!) Nancy Drew, Secrets Can Kill. (also a free review copy) My daughter doesn’t care much for battle games.  She never says the six most dreaded words a mother trying to get her son to go to bed ever hears: “Let me just beat this level.”  She likes that the Nancy Drew game allows her to solve puzzles – not just fight her way out of things.  She likes that there’s a main character who’s a girl. And I like that the girl characters in this electronic game (unlike so many others) aren’t built like porn stars.

Her Interactive, the company that puts out the Nancy Drew series of games calls themselves a “pioneer of fun and inspiring interactive adventure entertainment based on female play preferences.”  Which is basically PR-speak for “we make video games for girls.”  And all gender stereotyping aside – there really is a difference.

Take the Kirby/Owls of Ga’hoole mash up. Bet you can guess which of my twins likes Kirby’s Epic Yarn (didn’t get a demo – just a demonstration! It’ll be in stores October 17th). It’s a cooperative game where players can help each other get to different levels, and where there really isn’t anything to “win.”  It’s all about Kirby, the famously cute little critter – back for the first time since the Nintendo 64 days, who in this game, is made of yarn, and living in a patchwork world.  The graphics are adorable, different, and look…well, tactile…if that makes any sense.

Here, see for yourself.

This is the kind of game my daughter would love.  It’s the kind of game my son wouldn’t necessarily admit he could love…but I bet he would.  Even a ten year old boy gets sick of blowing things up now and then.  And the yarn graphics are inventive and funny. Even I  love it.  And I stink at video games. (I got a chance to play for a few minutes at a press event  The coolest thing for me: when Kirby goes “behind” something, the “fabric” bulges out, and you can see him bulging behind it. So cute.) Bottom line: Kirby’s Epic Yarn is sweet, you’re not competing with anyone. and the graphics are cool and interactive without being violent or epileptic fit inducing. Wins the mash up for me.

Except for one thing. A few months ago but I received (gratis) a full-box set of  the Guardians of Ga-Hoole books.  The game Legend of the Guardians, and the soon to be released movie of the same name are based on it.  I haven’t seen the game yet, but all I can say is: my son, whose favorite thing to say (after, “let me just beat this level”) is “I hate to read.”  had to be threatened with loss of a playdate to get him to put down the third book in the series and go to bed.

On the strength of that alone (as well as the fact that in all the years I’ve been getting free electronic games, I have never before been given good old fashioned BOOKS – yay Warner Bros Entertainment!) I am shamelessly promoting the game, and including this quote from the press release:

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole – The Videogame is being released in conjunction with the highly-anticipated feature film from critically-acclaimed director Zack Snyder.  The video game provides fans with the ultimate extension of the movie by allowing players to create their own Guardian of Ga’Hoole and experience the film’s storyline from a new perspective.

Hey – my son LIKED reading these books. That’s already a new perspective. Can you imagine how he’s gonna feel about the game?  I can hear myself now: put down the owl…or else.

And you have to admit — it does look pretty cool:

Even so, I kinda like the cute little yarn guy better.

And since it’s my blog, Nancy Drew and Kirby win the battle.

Hey – I didn’t say it was fair.  I just said it was my opinion.

What’s yours?

I know what you’re thinking….doesn’t everyone?  But no, not everyone does.  Some people feel a sense of accomplishment.  Some people get into the Zen of it.

Me?  I just plain hate it.

Which is why I am SO bummed out, that because of Blogher, I’m feeling OBLIGATED to vacuum and clean

See, at Blogher, I stopped by the Quickie Booth and took some sort of “how messy are you?” quiz.  (I say “some sort of quiz” because I have no recollection of taking said test.  Must have been the sponsor-floor induced stupor I was in!) In any case, turns out I’m pretty seriously messy, because my answers won me the dubious distinction of being named a Quickie Messiest Blogger, and a prize:  a micro-fiber cleaning kit from Quickie.

Then, at the Mouthy Housewives party, the kind folks from LG, who had evidently lost their minds, gave everyone there a free vacuum. Seriously.  And not just any vacuum.  A $419 LG Kompressor Plus, the vacuum that picks up more and lets you empty less.

So you see – between Quickie and LG….well, the housewifely gods are telling me something: Thou Must Clean.

I’ll start with Quickie:

Microfiber products are the latest craze in cleaning green.  Because with many microfiber products, you don’t need ANY chemicals at all.  How does it work?  Well, seems that microfiber is made with fibers that are…well, micro.  And smaller fibers mean more places for dirt to go, and less chance of it just spreading around. Not all – but a  majority of stains can be removed with a microfiber product and water alone. No chemicals + reusable = green cleaning. (click here for more info on microfiber)

I don’t like to clean – but I do like it when things ARE clean.  So I was curious to see if the things really worked.  They do.  My stainless steel backsplash is shiny and bright – using only a microfiber cloth from my multi-surface microfiber cloth multi-pack (no harsh chemicals or abrasive scrubs), not a lot of elbow grease, and some water. Turns out my Quickie Floor Mop (which joins my multitudinous and much-loved  (but chemical using) Swiffer mops) does a great job on my beautiful herringbone floors all by itself. Using the chenille dusting mitt is less like dusting and more like feeling up the stuff in your house.  You just stick it on your hand and then rub stuff!  I also got a weirdly massive bathroom scrubber sponge (though I think I’ll still use it with a cleaning product in the bathroom), a microfiber duster, and a nifty little blind cleaner wand.

See, they have me using words like “nifty” when I’m talking about cleaning.

Scary.

Also – it all makes me think:  there used to be a time when cleaning supplies meant a broom, a mop, a bottle of ammonia and some rags.  Ah, the old days!

My LG Kompressor arrived this morning.  6:30 this morning….but never mind.

The thing is very impressive.  Lots of accessories: a pet hair tool, a crevice tool, a dusting tool, a wand attachment, and a lovely brown leather belt with metallic mesh accent…oh, wait – that’s an accessory I got at Loehmanns. It’s very fancy. (the vacuum – not the belt.) Good thing it looks good, too, since I have no idea where I’m going to put it.  (There’s a reason apartment dwellers have canister vacuums — they fit under the coats in your closet.) I may end up having to have it on permanent display in my living room.

Looks, like my mother likes to tell me, aren’t everything.  So it’s good that the LG Kompressor is quite the powerful vacuum.  With some very nifty (there’s that word again) features.  Like the compressor in the canister which means you have to empty your vacuum less and there will be less mess when you do it.  See, the dust is all packed in (compressed!), so it doesn’t all escape when you open up the canister.  It has a super long (40 foot) cord, for less plugging and unplugging, and most importantly — this thing has SUCTION.

As a matter of fact (and I’m sure this is NOT the type of thing the LG people wanna hear) the thing is so loud and powerful, that my dog FREAKED.  While I was testing it out, he barked like crazy, ran out of the room, and made a smelly mess on the floor.  Yes, it’s true, the thing literally scared the crap out of my dog.

Which only means one thing.

I’ll have to get out the Quickie cleaning tools again.

Fine Print/Full Disclosure: In case this post wasn’t clear enough, I won all of the Quickie Products for being an incredible mess. (and thus got them for free).  And I was given the Vacuum as a gift – with no personal contact on my part with the company at all – simply for being lucky enough to be at the Mouthy Housewives Blogher Party.

Catherine Zeta Jones starred in the cast of this revival when it opened.  And after seeing her inexplicably Tony winning, bird-trapped-in-a-plastic-bag body language performance of Send in the Clowns on the Tony broadcast, I decided to wait until the new cast – headed by the inimitable Bernadette Peters – took over.

Boy am I glad I did.

The highlight of the show – perhaps of the Broadway season, is hearing Peter’s sing that signature song. Remember when you used to hear Send in the Clowns as a kid? I  was always thinking “Clowns? Huh? wha? Are they going to the circus?”

Ah. The innocence of youth.

Now, as a forty something it takes on new resonance.  And Peter’s does it justice, seeming to age on the stage, when she realizes her youthful love was too long ago to salvage. Watch her perform and witness a Broadway legend seal her place in history.

Luckily, Peters is sitting just about center stage when she sings the song, otherwise, I may not have seen her at all, since the woman in front of me clearly stopped at the store and bought a Bozo the Clown wig to wear to the theatre that night.

This was not just a head of hair in front of me. It was a triangulated, bright red, dense mass of curly hair hitherto unseen except in the nether regions of Ronald McDonald’s long lost sister.

Had the woman never seen a ponytail holder?

That was all she needed.  Just a little piece of elastic to stave off the frizzy wall that blocked my view of the entire left side of the stage. During the song “My Wife,” sung by the under-appreciated Alexander Hanson – (he is charming, handsome, and completely winning as Peters’ lifelong love interest) there is a fair amount of mugging by Peters, who is decidedly UNinterested in hearing about her former lover’s child bride.  But I didn’t see any of it.  I just heard the laughs.  Bozo blocked my view COMPLETELY. (And, just for the record, I am not exaggerating for comic effect; I saw ZERO that went on stage right (my left.))

Beccarama and I moved seats during intermission, only to find ourselves behind a woman who must have been about six feet tall, and had her hair piled high on top of her head.

This was passive aggressive theatre going at it’s peak.

If you’re just tall, it’s one thing.  No one likes to see Yao Ming scooting his way into the row directly in front of them, but it’s not like there’s a whole lot he can do about being circus-freak tall.  But if it’s just your ginormous hairdo, here’s a tip: TONE IT DOWN.

Tickets aren’t cheap (although, full disclosure: Beccarama  received the tickets from the show’s PR department.  I received my ticket because her sister got an ill-timed (for her) stomach bug.) You and your Hairdini aren’t the only ones who want to see what they paid for.  Plus, it’s just RUDE.  Don’t think for a minute that anyone thinks you’re oblivious:  we know just what you passive aggressive hair bullies are up to. And it’s got to stop.

While I’m at it, here are some other tips for you, if you’re planning on going to the theatre on your next trip to NY:

1. Brush your teeth. Sounds obvious, but you’d be amazed. Ditto deodorant.

2. This is not your living room.  Keep your comments to yourselves. Theatre is LIVE, people.  You may not comment on the goings on on stage to the person next to you the way you would were you watching, say, The Real Housewives of New Jersey. (who, by the way may not even be live themselves – just well drawn cartoons.)

3. If you must smoke, give yourself at least a few moments to air out before you take your seat.  Nothing spoils the illusion of being in the African Jungle, or the royal court like the stench of old cigarette smoke.

Of course if it’s a Mamet play, smoke away.

4. If you sleep, do not snore.  I know what you’re thinking : how would I know I‘m  snoring if I’m asleep?  I don’t care. Snoring is disrespectful to the actors and the people around you.  Tie a rubber band around your wrist, and if you feel yourself dozing off, give yourself a good hard snap.

5. If you MUST have a tuberculosis attack the second the lights go out, at least cover your mouth.  Why does the coughing begin as the curtain goes up? Passive aggressive anyone?

6. No canoodling.  Keep your head on top of your own shoulders, not snuggled up against your date’s.  You’ll be blocking someone’s view. And making them sick from the cuteness of it all.

7. Finally, a list of the most obvious ones – but clearly, people need to be reminded: no texting, IMing, phoning, browsing the web, filing your nails, flossing your teeth (I saw that once. Disgusting.), eating your sandwich or making out with your girlfriend because this is your seventh weekiversary.  Get a room.

Follow my rules for Hair and Hygiene when you go to the theatre, and you, too, can have a wonderful time.

Just don’t sit in front of me.

I went into BlogHer thinking that how I felt about BlogHer would pretty much determine whether or not I continued blogging at all.  I had kinda lost my groove after the unexpected demise of SVMoms, and I wasn’t so sure I wanted to feel groovy again. You know, what with the requisite fringe vests and all.

I’m still not quite sure how I feel.  So I’m going to make a list of pros and cons, bests and worsts, and see what wins.

Pro: The conference was in NY. For me, that meant no travel or lodging costs (I live here). For many, it meant a first trip to the Big Apple.

Pro: It was nice to be in a community of women who speak blog-ese.  Most of my IRL friends have no idea what I’m talking about half the time.  And they certainly wouldn’t wait in a restroom to have an audience with The Bloggess. Not that I begrudge The Bloggess her little corner of fame.  She’s truly  funny and she’s worked for it.  But the bathroom?  Really?

Con: The conference was ginormous! 2400 women (mostly, anyway). Which made it feel less like a community and more like a bunch of cows being herded into over-air conditioned pens.

Pro:  I got to hang with some of my favorite people: beccarama, Selfish Mom,  A Child Grows in Brooklyn, MamaKnows Breast and ChefDruck.   And I got to meet some new, smart, funny bloggers, like isdisnormal, VodkaMom and Single Gal in the City.

Con: The overall vibe of the conference – at least for me – was not all that warm and fuzzy.  People were a little clique-ish, and defensive.  A simple “where are you from?” practically got my eyebrows singed off from the darts the person I’d asked was shooting at me with her eyes.  When did “Where are you from?” become fightin’ words? At Blogher10, that’s where.

Pro: There were healthy choices at all three meals.  (courtesy of Tropicana)

Con: There wasn’t enough time to eat – much less make  it to too many of the sessions. There was too much happening at once,  no way to go to all the things you might want to.  Maybe that’s a sign of a good conference — so much you want to do.  But I thought it was a sign that maybe less is more.

Pro: There was a lot of swag.

Con: There was a lot of swag. So much swag, that I suffered from Swag Shoulder for two days, living on Motrin and borrowed time.

Here’s the thing about swag: no one really needs another mousepad. Or another button with the logo of another company.And please, please, not another eco-friendly reusable bag.  Because when you have 57 eco-bags, they stop being ecological and start being a big ole pain in the ass.  But it is swag, and we all like to get the stuff.

Some of my favorites:

Got Milk’s portable cereal container, useful and not too heavy to carry around.

Oscillococcinum. Because once cold season starts my family and I practically live on the stuff, and now I won’t have to buy as much. A freebie I would have bought anyway? Excellent.

The Wheaties t-shirt.  Just because.

RCA Music, Video and Photo player. Small enough to stick in your pocket.  And free, so I won’t be too upset if one of my kids loses it. (when, not if.)

Avery‘s thoughtful NYC survival kit from the Social Luxe party. It may have just been bandaids and tissues and stuff, but it was well thought out, thoroughly useful, and cleverly packaged.  Go Avery.  Way to make portable toothbrushes fun.

Also from the social luxe party – Foxy Blunt’s gift cards. Hysterical.Sophisticated. Kinda evil. And totally bitchin’. And Mabels Labels cord labels. I think I’m officially a groupie.

I love the Assets tummy control panties – because anything I can do to look thinner without actually having to work to get thinner…consider it done. And the FULL SIZED samples from Eucerin. Love the new fragrance and trust Eucerin not to make my skin look like I just spent three days in an air-conditioned over-sized land-locked cruise ship peopled by swag frenzy housewives.

And, of course, we can’t forget the Sex Toys from Eden Fantasys.  Hey, laugh all you like, but I didn’t see any of those vibrators on the swag recycling table, did you?

Pro: The inspiring international bloggers: www.mideastyouth.com – wicked funny, incredibly brave. www.humanityashore.org - beautiful, moving photos from a brave photo journalist who manages to get what she wants, even in a country where women don’t get too much.  www.awwproject.org - a place where the mostly illiterate and unheard women of Afghanistan get a voice. And mujereslibres.blogspot.com – paying tribute to Latin American women who fight for the rights of others every day.

In the end, it was this last pro that mattered. Those brave women who were risking their lives to blog – they were inspiring.  They made me think about blogging giving people a voice, effecting change.  They made me thing of the  2400 attendees not as swag-swilling women, but as a collective voice that can be used for something other than naval gazing and product reviews.

So in the end, BlogHer did matter.  It was inspiring to hear those women.  It was reassuring to see that so many other women are blogging just like me.  And I guess I’ll keep on going.

That is if all the swag I’ve piled up doesn’t tip over and crush me on my way to my computer.

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1. I don’t like chocolate.  Perhaps that makes me weird.  I don’t care.

2. I recently went to a benefit for a local high school only because Tony Dovolani from Dancing with the Stars was hosting.

3. When I get Wii and DSi games to review….I give them to my kids, so they can figure out how they work and tell me all about them.  Because the truth is, no matter how hard I try, I stink at video games.  All of ‘em.  I stink at Wii Fit, which tells me, even though I am a three-time a week yogi,that I can’t do Yoga.  I stink at Fossil Fighters, one of my son’s favorite games. (he gives the graphics big thumbs up) mostly because I have absolutely NO idea how to play it, no matter how hard I try. I stink at all the Mario stuff, because I can never remember what I’ve learned in earlier levels, so when I have to start from the beginning…I’m really starting from the beginning.

But now, my kids are away at sleepaway camp, and while they both played Atari’s new Sandlot Sluggers DS game, they are not here to tell me all about it, and somehow I think that the camp directors would frown upon me calling them up and asking them to clue me in.

But I got my (full disclosure) free copy of the game from my friend Beth at Role Mommy, and I wanted to write about it. So there was only one solution: I played the game myself.

First a little background: Backyard Sports: Sandlot Slugger, the latest title in the Backyard Sports series, includes not only the typical pickup games and season modes, but adds to the experience with a bunch of mini games – including a home run competition you can play against others – and  a  full-fledged story mode.

Stories?  This, the English Major in me can do.

In the story, a bunch of bullies has taken over the sandlot, forcing all the other kids in town to stay inside playing   video games ( kudos to the makers of this game as portraying that as a bad thing!). And that’s where you (or in this case I) come in:  you’re the new kid in town who forms a new team to show those other guys who rules the diamond. But since  the town is already filled with teams, so you must defeat each of them in their own neighborhoods to show them you’ve got what it takes, and win their best players over to your team.

So where was I in all of this? Loving it.  There was reading to do (a story has words!), there were great, fun graphics that didn’t try to look realistic. (My son called the graphics awesome.) And so far, nothing for me to suck at.

Yay.

Then I tried my first game.  I picked my team name. Easy.  I picked my location.  Also easy.  Then the game began. I had no idea what to do.  And here it is, the biggest confession of them all: for the first three batters I had no idea whether I was pitching or hitting. Yeah.  Scary.

I did like the scenery.  And I thought the commentators were hilarious.  And I appreciate that this isn’t one of those games that’s striving for realism. (I often wonder what’s next: a secret door into the steroid room?)  These players are cartoony, the commentary is too.  So it seemed like a good match, this game and me. I mean, I like a good game of let’s pretend as much as the next girl. There’s nothing like escaping from reality.

But as for the playing.  Well, I guess it was realistic.  Because I sucked.

Atari’s Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers game is available in Nintendo DS, Nintendo DSi, Nintendo Wii, Windows, and Xbox 360.

I had a great time re-connecting with and/or (oops! slash alert!) meeting some very cool blogging moms, like CultureMom, Marinka, Linsey Krolick (finally!) and Mastermind Mommy I also got to meet a lot of sponsors who are interested in forging relationships with Mom bloggers.  And that’s where the difficult part comes in.  If I mention and link to all the companies that were there, will you automatically assume that I’m only doing it as a sort of tit for tat? And if I don’t, am I being an ungrateful blogger?

One thing I could do is write about companies that were there, but didn’t give me anything.  Like the people from Taga Bikes The have what might possibly be the coolest stroller I have EVER seen.  It’s a bike! No! It’s a stroller! No! It’s both! My kids are ten, and I wanted to win this thing.  It’s just that cool.  And in the case of this particular company, I don’t see much of a problem promoting them.  My kids are well past stroller age and I am well past baby-making age, so there really isn’t a whole lot these people can do for me.  I have no conflict of interest or disclosures to make. I just liked the thing.

I feel the same way about Mabel’s Labels.  A small company co-founded by Julie Cole a truly lovely person who I’d like to help out.  The labels are cute, and though I have not tried them, from what I hear, they really really work  (lots of mom bloggers use them).  She even makes machine washable name tags that stick on!  No sewing or ironing!!  As a mother of two kids about to go to sleepaway camp — it’s like a gift!

BitMoms (a major sponsor of the event) gives parents a place to go for internet safety tips for themselves and their kids.  Writing about them as a resource can only be good.  Plus, I’ve been using their BitDefender anit-spyware/anti-virus software since last fall (bought and paid for, thank you) and I can tell you – it is the LEAST intrusive anti-virus program I have ever used.  I was so sick of all those pop-ups from the other guys.

iGo was there, too.  (Disclosure:  they gave out a free phone charger.)  This is a green company that makes charger strips that turn off the items you select when they’re not in use for a while.  No more need to go around unplugging everything all the time to save energy. I’d mention them even if I didn’t get a charger. It’s green, it’s easy..and well, why not?

But what about companies with which I have a real relationship, like Nintendo?  Over the years they’ve sent me both hardware and software…a lot of it.  And a few weeks ago, Nintendo threw a party at my house to showcase their relationship with Netflix (you can stream Netflix movies to your TV through the Wii – no extra charge and no discs to keep track of.) I haven’t written much about it, because I feared it would sound like a paid blog post.  Which I guess it is…but only sorta…because I am under no obligation to write anything.  They take their chances.  They hope that I will.

Thing is, it was a really fun party and I did learn all kinds of cool stuff about the Wii that I didn’t know — like the fact that you can get news from it.  And movies.  And the local weather.  They showed me how to download games from my Nintendo points card. I’ve had Wii points in a drawer for two years that I never redeemed because I couldn’t figure out how to do it. They entertained the many, many children who were here with games and prizes.  They made really, really nice goody bags for me and my friends.

Why wouldn’t I want to write about it?  Well, because I worry that doing so makes me a shill.

When I wrote and produced tv promos for all those years, I never wondered if, because I was being paid to promote shows I might not have liked all that much, I was misleading people.  I mean, how many Lifetime movies about women in peril can you promote and still be sincere?  I was being insincere all the time!  I wrote promos for A Current Affair! (yes, I am that old) But this whole blog world is a new world. Selfish Mom seems to have it down.  Her disclosure page is so complete, no one could question her integrity.

I hope that my readers trust that I wouldn’t write about anything that I didn’t believe in.  Maybe the Nintendo people have given me lots of product, but that doesn’t change the fact that the Wii has changed me from being against all screen-based games, into thinking they can be great. Not all of them.  I don’t particularly like the games that my kids can play while they’re sitting on the couch.  I don’t like the games that put them into semi-comatose mode.  But there are lots of  Wii games that get them get up, interacting, and moving around.  Even the new Harry Potter Lego game (my son is obsessed with the whole Wii Lego franchise) engages kids.  Two can play at once.  And there are storylines to read (read!), and logic puzzles to solve. My favorite thing? Players can drop in and drop out whenever.  So I can play with my kid for a minute and stop without him screaming about having to finish a level.

I like Wii.  I might not have as much cool Wii and Ds stuff if Nintendo’s PR people didn’t send it me — but I might write about it anyway.  Just like I write about other experiences I’ve had that have nothing to do with PR or freebies or anything of the sort.  And let’s face it. for most of us, Wii’s and PSP’s (not that I know what that is!), and computer games like Club Penguin and Moshi Monsters…well, they’re all a part of our lives.

And that’s what I write about.  My life.

I’ll keep on disclosing who gave me what.  And I’ll stick to my “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” mantra. (Except when I think a product is dangerous, or truly evil, and then I’ll say whatever.) And I’ll hope that you’ll all believe what I say, whether I got something for free or not.

The Sleek Dermatologica Store

I have often been annoyed at the fact that while I spend a fair amount of time writing this blog, I earn a whole lotta nothing for doing so. My friend from Beccarama told me that her husband says that there’s no way a whole bunch of men would be writing all of this stuff for diapers bags. They would have figured out how to make money out of this blogging thing by now. Or they would have stopped.

Occasionally, however, some little extra comes along that makes it all worthwhile. For me, that little extra was a free mini spa treatment at the slick flagship Dermalogica store in SOHO. (And that’s the full disclosure part: They invited me down, gave me a glass of water, a tour of the small but super sleek space, a mini facial, and a bag of sample size goodies from their own line.)

The reason this particular freebie made me feel like the blogging isn’t all for naught, is that it came just before my 45th birthday. (thank you, thank you. no gifts, please.) And you know what happens after 40, don’t you?  Every year the day after your birthday, you notice a new physical flaw.  The day after my fortieth, I noticed my first age spot. The day after my forty-first: two little creases between my brows.  Forty second? Wrinkly knees.

I wasn’t exactly looking forward to 45.  So anything that promised to pamper me and improve my skin at the same time was time well spent. Plus,  my little Dermalogica experience, was a mini treatment – what they call a Microzone treatment, – and it lasted only 20 minutes.  To some, that might be enough, but I’ve never been one of those people who could spa for hours on end.  I don’t want people poking and prodding me (however skillfully) for more than about — well – 20 minutes.   If you want the full hour long thing, they do that too — and in a super cool looking Pod.”" (no kidding!)  But in terms of time and lack of being poked-ness, the microzone thing rocks.

Dermalogica offers several different targeted microzone treatments (this picture to the right is where you get them. If you want privacy – it’s not for you. But it’s just your face. Get over it!):

• Flash exfoliation / resurface, smooth, brighten
• • Eye rescue / brighten, firm, revitalize
• • Lip renewal / smooth your smile
• • Blackhead relief / clear and prevent breakouts
• • Rapid spot clearing / speedy breakout recovery
• • Hand repair / heal rough hands
• • Men’s skin fitness / make shave problems history

I chose the Flash Exfoliation.  But there was no rubbing and scrubbing here.  There was a lot of talk about cell rejuvenation, and vitamin C production, and the effect of gamma rays on man in the moon marigolds. (Ok, maybe not that, but a lot of scientific skin talk that made me want to respond with one big “whaaaaa?”) And there was a lot of extremely gentle massaging with the either lightly scented or completely unscented (not unscented which really means chemically smelling, but REALLY unscented) Dermalogica products.

I remember once when I went to a Yoga retreat in upstate New York, my roommate telling me that she didn’t believe in facials. What, like they’re the tooth fairy or something?  But I sort of agreed.  It’s nice to be massaged and coddled, but does it really make a difference?  In a word: yes.  I’ve already written about my (not at all freebie related) Avon Regenerist products doing wonders for my eyes, but this facial just put me over the edge: I’m a believer.

After it was over, and for the few days since, my skin looks brighter and clearer, and just plain better.  Why, I might even say that I don’t look a day older than 44.