Comments for From Hip To Housewife

Comment on Make-up, Waxing, and Facials for Tweens? Puh-lease. by staceygill

staceygill — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:42:13 +0000

You are completely right, and don’t let anyone tell you different! It’s shameful the culture we are raising our daughters in, and while I agree it’s the parents who do or allow these things, our society has increasingly up the age at which girls and maybe boys are to be grown up or act as mini adults. It’s not just a few nut jobs from Greenwich. It’s everywhere from miniature adult outfits to rock concerts for kids who are 9 or 10 to salon services for babies. It’s unhealthy and robs kids of their own childhood. And, now for something a little more lighthearted, my feelings on salon services for toddlers: http://staceygillink.com/spa-day-as-child%E2%80%99s-play/#more-669

Comment on Make-up, Waxing, and Facials for Tweens? Puh-lease. by elissapr

elissapr — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 04:02:24 +0000

I think it’s important to remember the context here. When my daughter complained of her hairy legs – yes, I let her shave. I mean, hairy legs are hairy legs. And no matter how libertated you are, I think it’s pretty gross.
For me, it’s how you put these services into perspective. In most cases, I look at it as a treat, not a necessity. Not integral to who my daughter is on the inside.

Comment on Make-up, Waxing, and Facials for Tweens? Puh-lease. by nancyjrab

nancyjrab — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 01:00:22 +0000

I think you sound perfectly balanced on this topic. You’re not laying down some dictum: “Thou shalt be hairy and look like crap” But neither are you letting her just do…whatever. As for a child’s own Bat Mitzvah…well, even I might have given in a that one.

Comment on Make-up, Waxing, and Facials for Tweens? Puh-lease. by greekula22

greekula22 — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:58:11 +0000

I am of two minds on this. As a mother of a teenager, I have been through the party year, and the majority of girls did have professional services on their bat mitzvah day. We didn’t but only because I was too busy making candy torahs to schedule it (why I had to have my martha stewart moment that month I will never know, but they were really cute and the older grown ups loved them). I spent 9 months, however, dealing with complaints about body hair and requests for services. Hair removal being an art, I capitulated midway on facial hair, but as for legs, I taught her how to take care of it, and offered to match her allowance savings if she wanted to go the waxing route and invited her to watch me have mine done. Problem solved, temporarily. I have broken down periodically and paid for the student special at better salons, because her hair is incredibly thick and most of her inexpensive cuts have looked lopsided. But a stint at the make-up bar? No way. Department stores have cosmetics counters for a reason, and its a rite of passage to take your child there a few times and for them to go with their friends a few times (under your eye) – hell, they even charge for the full thing, but you can get enough tips trying out products. Home makeovers are part of growing up – I’ve had a few myself (its just like painting!), mostly by my son. But actually driving in? There is no magic in Manhattan that requires someone from Greenwich to commute for a party face. I thought Greenwich was value village in this regard, so I’m a little surprised; it not like they’re stuck with Fantastic Sams. Another sign of that pressure to hurry up and be blase about everything. I refuse it, except for the facial hair, because if you don’t handle that, it will undermine everything else.

Comment on Make-up, Waxing, and Facials for Tweens? Puh-lease. by Mary

Mary — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:41:54 +0000

Totally agree with you, Nancy. Especially since I remove my own mustache! It’s finding the right time to do it and like you said in the privacy of our own bathroom with me there with her – I hope! I personally just stole my father’s razor and as you can imagine that was not a pretty sight! Emphasizing only the “pursuit of prettiness” by taking her to adult professionals is not where I want to go with her at all. A former babysitter took her to get her nails done and the manicurist told her she had too much hair on her arms! Can you imagine? That took some long conversations to get over. Now if we do nails, it’s here at home – sloppy but certainly more fun. Thanks again.

Comment on Make-up, Waxing, and Facials for Tweens? Puh-lease. by nancyjrab

nancyjrab — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:25:14 +0000

Just to be clear: it’s not that I think that hair removal is bad. Losing a mustache that might get you teased isn’t a bad thing. I just object to the means: do it in your bathroom with her. Don’t send her out to a professional stylist. But like Randi, who commented before you, I do think that hair-removal is kind of its own category. Nobody wants a mustache!

Comment on Make-up, Waxing, and Facials for Tweens? Puh-lease. by Mary

Mary — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 18:12:42 +0000

Maybe the best way to help one’s daughter is to be a good example. It’s not easy because even as an adult I battle with body image. I find myself biting my tongue when I want to ask my husband if I look fat. When an outfit that once fit perfectly is suddenly too tight. When I realize that mascara and lipstick really do make me look better. I need to show my daughter that I’m confident however I look. My daughter is ten and definitely has a hint of a dark mustache on her upper lip. A friend’s son pointed it out once and she said nothing. Then her best friend also mentioned it and said, “hey did you know you have a mustache?” I was eavesdropping and waiting to hear what happened next. My daughter said nothing and her friend continued with, “I have one too you know and mine’s darker than yours.” Then they forgot all about it and proceeded to make a video together. But what do I do when she asks to get rid of it? And will she? It’s kind of a minefield out there. Thanks for the post!

Comment on Make-up, Waxing, and Facials for Tweens? Puh-lease. by nancyjrab

nancyjrab — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:54:13 +0000

Love that phrase: everything is beautiful but beautiful isn’t everything. Totally stealing that! And I do get the facial (and other) hair removal thing. But it’s the whole aura of privilege this story evoked. And also – yes, I do want to look my best for event. But my vest as a forty-something really does need help. A 12 year old using bonne bell or a freebie lipstick is one thing – paying $150 for a professional look feels like overkill. That being said – I’m not deep into Bar Mitzvah season and you are. So who knows where I’ll end up.
Thanks for the point of view.

Comment on Make-up, Waxing, and Facials for Tweens? Puh-lease. by Randi

Randi — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:32:44 +0000

Forgot to mention that my kids know that everything is beautiful BUT beautiful isn’t everything!

Comment on Make-up, Waxing, and Facials for Tweens? Puh-lease. by Randi

Randi — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:45:25 +0000

One size does not fit all here. Uni-brow or a dark mustache is unattractive at any age, so why not take care of it earlier rather than later?

While I’m not fan of “high maintenance beautification,” especially for tweens, I see nothing wrong with a special occasion beauty treatment before a big event like a bar or bat mitzvah. After all, aren’t we more dressed up,make-up and hair better before a big event? Don’t we typically wear a new dress or something that we feel we look good in? How is that any different from aesthetically pleasing grooming?

An eyebrow or lip wax simply isn’t as painful as your peers commenting negatively. If you start to wax as soon as you get hair and never shave or use depilatory creams, after a few times, the hair disappears entirely and never grows back. Isn’t that better than frequently shaving as an adult? I wish that my mother had this knowledge and foresight. What’s wrong with an occasional facial to clean pores, or make-up lesson to learn good habits?

Kids themselves are a tough crowd. My 12 year old daughter was asked by a classmate in PE “if she was going for the European look?” after a few stray hairs grew under her arms (3-4 hairs, that’s all

Didn’t you enjoy a Bonnie Bell product and/or a Clinique bonus pack back in the day? I know I did, and if memory serves me correctly, I was a tween then, albeit not identified as one by the jargon.

P.S. I totally agree that the trip from Connecticut is ridiculous, especially since there are many competent local salons right there.