I got up this morning and got dressed to go to the gym.
But am I at the gym?
But I am wearing exercise clothing — which must count for something. (Doesn’t intent burn calories?) I am moving my fingers at astonishing speeds. (Thank you Mr. Henry, my tenth grade typing teacher.) I must be losing weight, just by using Twitter.
Let me count the ways:
1. The outfit. (LuLu Lemon, I love you for making my butt look small.)
2. The finger speed (see above)
3. Twittering is like having a big long disjointed conversation with a whole lot of people you don’t really know. It can be exhausting. Exhaustion means you’re burning calories, right?
4. When I Twitter, I think about all of the other things I should be doing. I imagine myself exercising instead, for example. Imagination is SO SO powerful. Aren’t we always telling out kids that? Something that powerful MUST count as exercise. I mean, really.
5. Also, When I Tweet (oh, I SO know the lingo, don’t I?) I occasionally get up from my desk, walk to the kitchen, open up the pantry door, and grab a snack. And if that doesn’t burn calories, well, what does?
So for all you Tweets (Tweople?) out there who think that sitting at a desk, typing on your laptop, and chatting with your virtual friends all day might not be the best choice for your (literal) bottom line….take heart! You’re Twittercizing! Feel the burn.