Yesterday, The Blogging Angels sent out our invitation to a small breakfast during Blogher. Aimed (mostly) at up-and-coming bloggers, the breakfast is about learning to work with brands, to present yourself and your blog in the best light. Already, the Twitter-sphere is a-flutter with the haves and have nots. People wish they were invited, are jealous of those that were. They’re hurt. They feel excluded. You’d think that, as one of the Blogging Angels, I’d be immune to all that.
You’d be wrong.
See, all of the other Blogging Angels have been getting tweeted by the invitees “Can’t wait to meet you!” or by the non-invitees “Do you think there’s room for me, too?” There have even been multiple tweets by people saying how much they are looking forward to meeting the Blogging Angels: @selfishmom, @c2cmom and @beccasara. Notice any name missing from that list?
Of course logically, I know it’s silly: I am one of the people throwing the party. I am one of the Blogging Angels, whether I’m in those tweets or not. And, truth be told, I am the least social-media entrenched of the bunch, and the least well known. It’s not like it’s some big surprise to me to find out that fewer people know me than know the other Angels. To some degree, that’s my choice. My focus, for the past year, has been KidzVuz – which – while it exists in the digital space, is not a blog at all. It’s an internet start-up, with all of the attendant business plan, fund-raising, and development issues. It’s been all-encompassing, and I’ve never been one who is particularly good at giving my all to all things. I wish I could be. But that’s life.
I’m even hosting a second party – for 300 women – as KidzVuz, on the night before Blogher. And yet I still feel badly that I wasn’t invited to a bunch of parties – parties that I wouldn’t have been able to go to – that very night! It’s ridiculous, I know. But there it is. Over at Beccarama, Rebecca Levey (my KidzVuz partner and (tweeted) fellow Angel) wrote a post about party-envy. Part disclaimer (she is hosting two events during BlogHer) and part voice of reason, her central point is this: it’s not about how many parties you are invited to, but about what you make of the parties you do attend. Makes sense to me. Now if only it felt true, too.
Look, I know that BlogHer isn’t supposed to be about the parties. It’s meant t be about crafting your blog, developing your brand, joining the community. But just like Twitter often feels an awful lot like Junior High, so do all Blog Conferences end up being a series of parties – which can mean a series of social slights – or social triumphs.
I wish I could be above it all. I wish I could listen to the logical side of me that says “it doesn’t matter; it’s not about the parties; you’re hosting two of them yourself!” But, alas, the 12 year old girl in me is still alive and well, and worried about being asked to the the seventh grade dance (The Snowball. Nobody asked me. I went in my Gunne Saxe dress.)
The one bright spot about watching all of this unfold is that it’s made me realize: I’m not the only one. Prominent bloggers are angling for invites. Even they feel left out. So no wonder, that what with my less-than-spectacular klout score and blog-stats, I’m feeling insecure too.
I can’t help but wonder if men go through this. Do they care if they’re invited to some industry event? My guess is no. But neither do most businesses – male or female – have the sense of community that the Mom Blog world does. So I guess on balance, it’s not so bad. On the one hand, I feel hurt that not only did those tweets go out without my name in them, but that none of my virtual friends even thought to tweet back “Hey! What about @Hip2Housewife!?” On the other hand, just this weekend I had a lovely dinner with a friend – and our husbands – I met in the blogosphere. Last week I turned a virtual friend into a real one when she came to NY. And the person I spend the most time with in the world (aside from my husband. At least I’m pretty sure I spend more time with him) is a friend I met through blogging, and who I can’t imagine being without.
Hopefully, I will go to BlogHer and have fun, and not care who tweets about how happy they are they met me. Hopefully, I’ll just be happy to meet people myself. And finally, stop worrying about what other people say or don’t say, stop minding if I’m not included in something I don’t really want to go to anyway, stop being twelve, and start being me.
Hey, it’s something to strive for.