Posted in Humor, tagged funny thanskgiving, Halitosis, John Boehner, Jon Stewart, Lindsay Lohan, Spanx, tweezers on November 22, 2012 | 1 Comment »
Family. Friends. Health. These are all things I am thankful for. But really, who is against family, friends, and not having bubonic plague? So here is a list of some less obvious – though no less essential –things that I am thankful for this year.
1. Tweezers – So when the odd chin hair appears, I can quickly remove it.
2. Random Throbbing GIFs Because who doesn’t like pulsating poultry? (more…)
Posted in Shopping, Tech, Uncategorized, tagged Clothing, Home and Garden, Lands, Lands End, Lands End Canvas, Lands End Riding Boots, Mom Trends, Qualcomm, Shopping, Spanx on November 28, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
Me in a Size Four! With Nicole, Alicia, and Carrie at the MomTrends Event
Yesterday, dear reader, I left off my tale of blogger-woe at the point at which I had vanquished my underwhelming-techie self over at Qualcomm, only to find myself oversized for Lands End.
A breif recap: I went to a Qualcomm super techie press conference. I am not even a sub-super techie. But I figured it out. Yay me. Then, I left there and went straight to the MomTrends Lands End holiday party where I should have been totally in the zone – instead, I was in the the petite department. That pretty much brings you up to date. So what did I do next?
Lucikly, Nicole, MomTrends herself (and an actual size 2) had hired stylists and they went to work. (Luckily, too, I had a pair of Spanx in my bag. I’m nothing if not prepared) I squeezed into the Spanx, into the size 4 dress, donned a blazer to cover the worst of it, and a size too-big (but super duper cute) Lands End riding boots to distract from the worst of it, and walked the runway like a champ.
A champ who couldn’t move her arms too far in front of her body…but still.
And what did I take away from these two seemingly disparate events?
1. That I can understand tech speak if I just listen hard enough, and brush up on my metaphorical Swahili.
2. That it kinda does matter who powers your smart phone, and maybe I should start paying attention.
3. That Lands End makes suprisingly sophisticated housewares like Mercury glass candle holders, birch bark candles, and hand knit animals.
4. That Lands End Canvas line is (gasp) kinda hip.
and most importantly, that
5. Lands End has taken vanity sizing to new levels of vanity. and I love them for it. Because Vanity Sizing or no, I can’t help but be thrilled that I fit into a size four. I will take that to my GRAVE, people! A size four! Vanity sizing works! I felt fabulous.
(The terrific make up by Evy Drew didn’t hurt either.)
And there you have it. From Tech geek to fashion floozy. A day in the(blogging) life of this NYC Blogger.
Posted in Fashion, Laughs, Uncategorized, tagged Spanx, Velashape on July 12, 2008 | 5 Comments »
If I see one more woman who looks teeny tiny from the back and then turns around and turns out to be, like, 19 months pregnant, I’m going to scream. How are these pregnant women all looking so teeny, and I’m looking permanently four months along?
So, though I long for VelaShape treatments, I’ve decided to take less drastic (and less expensive) measures, and go get some more Spanx. I’m not going to lie to you — I’ve worn Spanx before — I’ve even blogged about it before. (and OK, some of this post is adapted from that one.) But I’ve decided, Spanx are not just for special occaisions. Spanx are for all the times I want to look firm and sucked in.
In other words. Spanx are for all the time.
Spanx, for the uninitiated, are the latest craze in shapewear for women — or as they used to be called, girdles. I’ve tried various “hold down the fort” underpinnings before, and while many of them worked, it was at a price. Most of them left me gasping for air and covered with angry red gashes. Spanx, are completely wearable. Mostly comfortable. (sometimes the waistband rolls down a little), and totally, completely unsexy. Word to the wise: If you’re ever wearing them on a date, stick a spare pair of sexy Hanky Panky thong underwear you can slip on if it looks like you might be gettin’ lucky.
But I don’t need sexy: I’ve been married for over ten years!! If my husband knows that sex is in the offing, I could be wearing a hair-shirt and knee socks and my husband would be all over me. Sexy shmexy. I just want to look good NOT naked.
When I got my first pair of Spanx I took them into my closet — or as I like to think of it, the testament to my enduring optimism: everything’s in there from a size six I haven’t fit into in years, to a dress I bought simply SURE I’d diet into it (two years ago) — Spanx in hand – or in pants, as the case may be – and tried on some of those old things I never thought I’d fit into. Well, clingy dresses hung smoothly over my stomach, skinny jeans didn’t strangle my thighs, I”m telling you – these things work!
But up until now, I’ve treated them the same way I do my wedding-China: stashed neatly in the closet, too hallowed for every day use. But there ain’t nothing sacred about my paunch. I’m turning Spanx into a daily habit. And I’m not going to feel guilty about it. I haven’t had a boob job, or a tummy tuck, no brow-lift, no Botox. (And as much as I’d like it, no Vela Shape.) I’m not going to quibble over a pair of underwear.
Because all I need, all I really need, is a good Spanx-ing.
