Blah Blah Blah: Why won’t my kids Listen?

Years ago, my sister got my father a t-shirt that read: I’m not deaf, I’m just ignoring you.
I think my 8 year old son has somehow, through the miracle of genetic osmosis, absorbed that message.
Here is a typical exchange:
Me: Time to get off the computer.
He: I am getting off. (continues exactly as before)
Me: Time to get off the computer.
He: I am. Right now. (continues exactly as before)
Me: Computer. Off.
He: (continues on)
Me: Hello?
He: (continues on)
and on and on and on.

It’s kind of an audiological phenomenon. As if getting so old that I’m invisible to men under the age of 70 wasn’t bad enough, now I’m inaudible to boys under ten.

I’m going to start manufacturing a line of mom-hearing aids. Hearing aids that make kids hear their moms all the time, even over the ambient noise of computer games. I’ll call it The Momplifyer.
Now if I could just get someone to listen to my pitch….


  1. womaninblack says

    I asked my son why he never did what I told him to on my first request. He said that he had worked out that it took eight requests for me to erupt like Krakatoa, so he aimed to comply at request number seven. He is eight.
    At the time of writing, I have asked him to do his science homework six times and he has barely acknowledged me from his Nintendo DS. The lava is bubbling. I may blow.

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