My Big Fat Summer

The day before yesterday I left my parents’ country house and drove into the city where the first thing I did, as usual, was weigh myself.  Way to ruin my day.

At least it’s blog fodder, I thought.  I can write about how everyone always talks about how easy it is to lose weight in the summer – but I gain.  I can talk about how everyone says living in the city is unhealthy, but the second I get to the country I stop exercising and get my very own suburban sprawl.

And then I paused – because something about it rang a bell.  I felt like I’d written it before.  You know why?  I had.  Twice, as a matter of fact.

Yes, it’s true.  This is the third year in a row that I’ve been out in the country for the summer and gained weight. And it’s the third year in a row that I’m shocked, I tell you.  Simply shocked! That such a thing could happen.

In a post called “My XL Problem with Suburban Sprawl,” I wrote about how much time I spent that summer sitting on my every-growing ass.  In another post,(and another year) I wrote about how my parents meal-time extravaganzas had taken their toll.

And here I am, year three.  Still surprised that it’s happening all over again.

What’s really shocking is my stunning inability to recognize the reality that driving everywhere whilst sitting on my ass + eating big meals + not owning a decent scale = Love handles and a lovely double chin.

Oh.  And back fat.  Gotta love the back fat.

You know the funny thing?  I went shopping yesterday and bought a pair of pants…in a size eight.  Size eight?  ONE of my ass cheeks is a size eight right now.  Vanity sizing is NOT helping me.  It is just deluding me into believing that I am still  – 7.5 pounds later –  a size eight.

Ha.

Maybe I should put on a bathing suit and look in the mirror.

That should be a reality check.

And if I faint from the reality – don’t wake me up.  Maybe I’ll lose a few pounds if I stay unconscious through a meal or two.

Comments

  1. says

    Okay- maybe I shouldn’t tell you here that I have lost weight this summer… actually it’s only been in the month of August but, that’s still summer, right?
    And it’s from working nights and running around getting the kids ready for school days… where they have been safely tucked away for the last week… Thank Goodness!
    Haven’t gotten on the scale for over a week but… I’m thinking at least I haven’t gained weight!
    And a size 8… Lordy it’s been years since I was there… I blame it on 4 pregnancies in 35 months… and yes that one month less than 3 years really does make all the difference! LOL!
    So- back to your normal routine and back to your size 8… you know I have a closet full of size 8,10 & 12’s if ya need them… cuz I don’t know that I’ll get below a 14 anytime soon. Unless of course I go on your proposed COMA diet… just make sure I’m in the bed next to you just in case we can communicate telepathically, or something.
    Now back to trying to let all my friends know my email address has been changed- without my consent- which is such a time consuming pain in the nether-regions!

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