Put some clothes on!!!

This week, summer prematurely came to New York and with it, came a few discoveries.  1. People on the East Side spend a lot of time on their knees, while people on the West Side spend a lot of time on their food.  How else to explain the plethora of tulips, hyacinths, and daffodils sprouting from Continue Reading

Weight Watchers Weigh In Update #1

Weight Watchers. The two most terrifying words in the English language.  (Though I suppose that "Compassionate Conservative" and "Hairy Back" might be contenders.) And yet here I am, once again, doing the WW.  Counting the points, weighing the portions,trying to decide if a deck of cards (the proper Continue Reading

Lessons Learned from a Really Bad Cold

If any of you checks in regularly, you may have noticed that I haven't posted in a while.  I'd love to tell you that it's because I've been busy fending off offers for my recently completed manuscript.  But the only offers I've had lately are for subscriptions to More magazine -- you know, the one Continue Reading

Patagonia Ruined my Magic Pants!

I like to refer to my lululemon pants as my "magic pants." They make my butt look small.  That, ladies and gentlemen, is magic.  They make my stomach look flat.  That is not just magic, it's miraculous.  Every time I wear them, someone asks me if I've lost weight.  That is spectacular.  It's even Continue Reading

Cheetah Shmeetah

As I write this, my eight year old daughter sits and watches the premiere of the new Disney propaganda marketing machine....I mean movie, The Cheetah Girls, One World. Yes, one Disney-fied world. One world filled with teenaged girls who wear only stillettos, and tons of make-up, and gyrate on the Continue Reading

Roots: A mini-series in my middle part

At the moment, I'm looking a little Kunte Kinte. Which is to say, my roots are showing. Not my ethnic roots. Those are always readily apparent, what with the cliche nose and the frizzy hair. I mean my hair. My brunette is showing. And I am none too happy about it. There are a few problems Continue Reading

Spanx Me, Please!

If I see one more woman who looks teeny tiny from the back and then turns around and turns out to be, like, 19 months pregnant, I'm going to scream. How are these pregnant women all looking so teeny, and I'm looking permanently four months along? So, though I long for VelaShape treatments, I've Continue Reading

Me and Sarah Jessica

With the new Sex and the City movie all anyone is talking about, I couldn't help but wonder: Will anyone still tell me I look like Sarah Jessica Parker? We have the same hair (ish), the same color eyes, the same large-ish nose with a bump, even the same little mole on our chins. Hey, knock six Continue Reading

Looking Good at Any Price

Have you ever noticed that the worse your body is, the more you have to spend on a bathing suit? I've been to the Lands End site with all of it's symbols about body type and claims of flattery. And I've always liked the suits. Not too flashy. Not too revealing. But in the end, not too exciting, Continue Reading